To Lube or not to Lube: Riding Dirrty

Our readers have spoken and this installment of the 1906 exploration of self-love came as a suggesstion from our audience. This week I am going to examine the Road Trip Wank, AKA Riding Dirrty.

This is what one reader had to say about this technique:

“I have enjoyed it on many occasions and on many road trips. I find it best when driving on a more rural road as less traffic allows the driver a more relaxed pleasure. For better or worse, you can ejaculate before arriving at your destination; thereby ameliorating the need to jerk off in your buddy’s shower after you don’t pull. (see supra “To lube or not to lube”, May 31, 2007). Moreover, it provides the perfect opportunity to get those frustrations out after you didn’t pull, slept on your buddy’s floor and pissed yourself.”

Let’s be honest fellas, we all know exactly what frustrations he is talking about.

Pros:

Add A Little Excitement: Breaks up the monotony of long trips
No Need For No-Doz: Wakes you up when you’re falling asleep at the wheel
Resume Builder: Makes you a more marketable employee by improving your multi-tasking skills
Helping Hand (Or Otherwise): Can be a team sport
Milk Me: Innate danger increases adrenaline flow which betters the experience with an effect similar to that of prostate manipulation
Kinky: If you are in to voyeurism passing trucks, vans, and SUVs get a front row seat to your self-exploration

Cons:

Danger: Possibility of wrecking your car
Umm, I Hit A Deer?!?: Tough to explain to the police officer that your reckless driving resulted from you masturbating while driving
A Mess to Be Made: Difficult to clean up errant shots which are more likely than usual due to your split attention on the road and on your "vehicle"(however, if this is the return portion of your road trip, you can use dirty clothing)
Double Danger: Using visual stimulation further decreases your focus on the road
Creep Factor: Even if you are into voyeurism, creepy truckers who haven’t smelled a woman in atleast 2 months are watching you- that can be an awkward realization upon hearing their horn honk

Overall assessment:
This score is a range from 2 to 4 Palms (out of 5). 2 Palms because it is hard to fully appreciate the experience since there is so much going on: stearing, touching, breaking, moaning, honking, singing, dancing, flatulating, poking, bruising, etc.. . This gets 4 Palms when teamwork is involved- no explanation necessary.

PS- I suggest not trying this while on 95 driving southbound through Richmond- Let’s just leave it at that….