Dear Century Regional Detention Facility,
I am writing this letter in the interest of the Adult Film Industry. We have excitedly been awaiting the incarceration of Paris Hilton. As we all know, the hotel heiress has already exploded onto the voyeur scene in several home videos that have entertained millions of viewers VIA the Internet and bootleg DVDs. Ms. Hilton has an awesome star power, and many fans await her next big release. With your help, we hope to produce the first in an awesome new genre of adult films... Porn-reality. As Ms. Hilton has unknowingly already "burst" onto this very new and exciting scene, we have a feeling she will be more than willing to partake in this piece of history. What if she does not hop on board you ask? She is in jail, who cares. The true reality of this situation is Ms. Hilton WILL need some form of sexual sustenance while she serves out her time, and WILL fall under the seductive spells of a burly prison guard who goes buy the "pen name" of Handsome B Wonderful. It will be a riveting story line with "hot" blow jobs abound.
I wanted to give you a couple ideas we have been shooting around the production room.
A Basic overview
Ms. Hilton is nervous. She is now in Prison. Voice over of interviews which will be taken afterwards will express how nervous she really was. Ms Hilton will then comment that being nervous is one of her biggest turn ons. She is waiting for her daily visit from Larry Diggs, the burly guard that brings breakfast to her cell. The way his big arms dwarf the bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice makes her quite squeamish, if you catch my drift. This relationship will then blossom into a beautiful mesh of reality and fantasy... "Hot" fantasy.
How do you write a script to reality you ask? We simply put the pieces in place which are necessary for certain transgressions to occur. We all know Ms. Hilton's character will crumble under the prospect of big press and endless droves of fans showering her with attention. There are other ways we can assure her cooperation in the form of "forget me nows", a special drug mostly utilized in the illusions business. Yet, I feel Ms. Hilton will not be the issue in all of this. We are more concerned with you as a prison's reaction. As we say in the porn industry, any press is good press right? So you allowed the filming of a reality porn show staring the heiress to the Hilton fortune. Worse things have been happened. The Holocaust for example. When people question you about your decision to go along with the project, just mention all the poor souls at Virginia Tech. Tell them we should be more worried about gun control, and then talk about the over crowding problems we are experiencing in today's prison system, because so many people are shooting and killing each other for no reason with weapons which are too easily acquired. That will fix it, and the reporters will praise you for your humanity.
I hope this letter has been both intriguing and convincing. You are on the cusp of an historical event. Hop on and ride it hard.
I remain the same.
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