Dylan

the musings below is taken from an email i sent a friend who had a picture of dylan as her facebook picture. it got me talking about some recent experiences w dylan and i think what came out talks about God and how we idolize people and ideas and make them into Gods and put them on pedastels and don't quite know how to deal w it. i really love dylan a lot, but i dont think i copy him really in my work. which is good and i'm glad. i think i draw literally from other influences more heavily, but none is greater. i'm sorry if it's a bit long, but you dont have to read it if you dont want to. you wont miss anything you dont already know all about.

"also, is it bad that whenever i look at a picture of dylan i want to be him? is it bad because that counting crows' lyric is true. i dreamt i was dylan the other night. i/dylan was livin in my first house in woodstock, ny, and had decorated it in an under-the-sea fashion. mariner. then we shot a music video where the whole town came and dismantled my kitchen. they just pulled it apart piece by piece and carried it out onto the lawn and my neighbors' lawns. what does that mean? does it mean something heavy? i think it might. but maybe it doesnt mean anything. i mean, all the townsfolk going into your home and carrying out everything and laying it on the lawn. all your neighbors laying all your personal stuff on the lawn... that's significant, right? what would the song sound like that goes with that video?

i dream about dylan a lot. a few months ago i had one where he was singing a song to me. it was that last dream you have on a wknd morning before you wake up. very vivid and colorful. i woke up singing the melody, but the words were all jumbled up. they had something to do with a car but they were so nonsensical that only dylan could get away w singing it. i straightened the words around and now i sing it a lot. i wonder if dylan does that consciously. maybe he goes around in people's sleep and gives them throw-away song ideas he doesn't want. like charity, only it's a bit of a tease. which i s'pose is pretty common w most charitable acts. i can never get over the feeling that i'm a figure of resentment for the good people. like i'm patronizing them by serving food or something. anyways, i wished dylan gave me a better tune, but that's dylan, and you don't second guess him or act ungrateful-like. you dont ask for seconds. you take what he gives you and you give him a nervous smile and whisper thanks and try not to look back too much. dylan can make us feel like we're homeless or beggars. that we're receiving gifts from something a whole lot prettier and cleaner. a whole lot purer. we shuffle and cough a lot. and we reach out pensively and we dont grab and we dont have too much to say about it that'd make any sense anyway."